Gut Wrench

28 Plays Later

Challenge 14: In short, write a play about body parts.

Bonus points: Make the play the most moving, gut wrenching piece of drama ever written, maybe even make yourself weep as you write… but don’t write about illness, decay or death.

Well I got the gut wrenching part at least…

 

ACT I – SCENE 1

 

SCENE TAKES PLACE IN A PHARMACY. SOMEBODY STANDS BEHIND THE CUSTOMER HUGGING HIM BUT IS NOT ACKNOWLEDGED.

Pharmacist: Good morning sir.

Customer: Good (holds breath, and then takes a long breath out). Good morning.

Pharmacist: How can I help today?

Customer: I’ve got this really horrible pain in my stomach. It’s not an upset stomach, so I don’t think it is anything I ate.

Pharmacist: You mean no bowel movements?

Customer: No, I think it would be too painful even if I needed the toilet. It’s quite difficult to move.

Pharmacist: Ok, and who’s is the friend you’ve brought with you.

Customer: No friend. (looks around, not acknowledging the person behind him).

Pharmacist: I see.

Customer: What?

Pharmacist: I see you have a case of the Shawn Michaels.

Customer: The wrestler?

Pharmacist: Very good, you know your stuff.

Customer: But I don’t see how…

Pharmacist: He’s behind you.

Customer: (looks around again, but can’t see him). I really don’t understand.

Pharmacist: It’s more commonly known as gut wrench. The fact it’s Shawn Michaels on your back is not important. It could be any wrestler. Although that does make sense of why it hurts so much.

Customer: But I can’t see him (tries turning repeatedly)

Pharmacist: No, you wouldn’t be able to. That’s kind of how it works. It’s ok though, you’re here and we can get you fixed up and back home soon.

Customer: So what do I need to do?

Pharmacist: Just stand still. (pulls a large wrench from a draw under the counter). Now, this will hurt, but you are already in quite a lot of pain, so maybe you won’t notice? (gets ready to swing the wrench at the Customer, takes a few practice swings)

Customer: Wait! You’re not going to hit me with that?

Pharmacist: With what?

Customer: The wrench?

Pharmacist: Oh right, that. No, I just couldn’t help myself. Plus it makes for a good story with the other pharmacists at the pub.

Customer: (looks blankly).

Pharmacist: You’ve got gut wrench. This is a wrench. Nothing?

Customer:   (in pain, shrugs)

Pharmacist: Hm. I thought it would be funny. Nevermind. All you actually need to do is scream.

Customer: Another joke?

Pharmacist: No joke. Let out a gut wrenching scream and Shawn Michaels will let go of his hold. It’s quite a standard hold actually, so nothing to worry about.

Customer: Ahhhh (screams, but half hearted)

Pharmacist: Again. Louder.

Customer: Ahhhhhhhh (screams, louder but still holding back)

Pharmacist: Once more. This time from the gut.

Customer: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh (screams loud)

Pharmacist: Nearly there, last one. This time not from your diaphragm, from your gut. A gut wrenching scream. Go for it.

Customer: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (screams even louder than before, then a long pause). Amazing! I feel, feel great again. Thank you so much! What do I owe you?

Pharmacist: Nothing, you’re welcome. Part of the job, I just do it for the gut feeling.

 

CURTAIN.

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